The Ponsonby pink-panties Santa

 Who cares what kind of panties Santa chooses to have on under his Santa suit? Not me. And neither do I want to know – too much information. He can keep that part of his business to himself. I’m happier not knowing about it, and very much happier if kids don’t know about it, either.


But the Ponsonby Business Association in Auckland (New Zealand) disagrees. They think that Santa in a dress, fishnet stockings, pink petticoat and panties is “fun for all ages”. Not just fun that he has those on, but fun that an imaginary wind is blowing his dress up and exposing them for everyone to see. Seriously? This exposure is considered a “fun” thing for kids? Question: what kind of man wears women’s underwear under a dress and has an expression of naughty-delight on his face when his dress blows up and everyone, including kids, gets to see his fetish? I’m sure there’s a word for that sort of man – help me out here.




Yes, it is a bit risqué and naughty and might give us a wee giggle - if it was just for adults, maybe. But “fun for all ages”? When did, or why have, some adults lost their instinct to keep kids away from sexual displays by adults? I wonder who told the Ponsonby Business Association that a sexualised Santa was a good idea for kids.


Before anyone says that we should be allowed to wear what we want, and not get uptight about it, that’s yes and no, because it’s not unreasonable to apply a dress code. For some men, wearing women’s clothing is a mighty big sexual turn-on, and the thrill of being in public in women’s clothing is the stuff of hard-ons. Whereas, I have never seen women sexualise the wearing of a pair of trousers. 


True, if we never labelled clothing as women’s or men’s we might not have men who get off on women’s clothing, but spit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first. Remember that period of time in strict communist China when women and men wore the same clothing? How long did that last once they were no longer compelled to do so.


I’m surprised that the Ponsonby pink-panties Santa hasn’t been defaced by now, because there’s a lot of people with a tad more foresight than the Ponsonby Business Association who are upset about it. If I was there, I might be tempted to get a black marker pen and draw a rather more true-to-life hairy arse on him. Even the best wax job wouldn’t give the smooth and un-manlike (and innocent?) appearance of this Santa.


Now, I realise that New Zealand has Christmas in summer, so a Santa suit can a bit hot and heavy for our climate around that time. Why not wear a woman’s dress to be a bit cooler? Interestingly, some men have discovered that they can adapt Santa to summer, without having to resort to wearing a woman’s dress, by wearing a lightweight cotton Santa suit.

Forget the sleigh - young paddlers from Waitangi Kaihoe Waka Ama Club bring Hana Koko (Santa Claus) to shore


How much of the Santa suit stays on at the barbie after the presents have been distributed is a different matter 😊.


But the real point is, we all know that kids and Christmas go together like jam and toast. Santa doesn’t need to be publicly turned into titillation under the guise of “fun for all ages”, he – and sometimes ‘she’ now – just needs to be fun for kids. Do the sexual Santa elsewhere.


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